Archive for the ‘mockery’ Category
I’d add one to Brian’s fine list (a list, I have to tell you, which is just -fantastic).
#11- It’s a stupid holiday.
Go see Brian’s 10 reasons why he doesn’t celebrate the stupid holiday.
You are the head of all the worst scoundrels on earth, a vicar of the devil, an enemy of God, an adversary of Christ, a destroyer of Christ’s churches; a teacher of lies, blasphemies, and idolatries; an arch-thief and robber; a murderer of kings and inciter to all kinds of bloodshed; a brothel-keeper over all brothel-keepers and all vermin, even that which cannot be named; an Antichrist, a person of sin and child of perdition; a true werewolf. – Martin Luther
And when will the media declare her to be a cutting edge go to ‘Christian author’ because she’s dabbled in dabbling in a decontextualized clothing experiment? Because it has happened before… as you know… that someone who takes the Bible out of context and experiments with bits of it without understanding is feted by the media and becomes a darling among those who also lack any exegetical or theological sense…
The following delight arrived in the email and I reproduce it here unaltered for your enjoyment:
Good day Am Benard, how’s the church, i went through the internet and reviewed your church and I have seen great commintment in your believe and worship. Am no Christian and have sinned, i am sick and presently in the hospital, receiving treatment and i seriously know that i have little or no time to live in this world and wish for your prayers, i want to be close to God. please do not ignore me, please do pray for me and i know really there’s God. Do let me know this God. I also will love to make a donation of all my assets and finances to the church.
Mr. Benard Hufana
So- if I understand this chap, he’s near death and wants to know about God and will, in return, give me his entire fortune. Nice!
Were they aware enough of the Bible to know that there was a Gospel in it named ‘Matthew’, millennials would have Jesus say this at the end of it-
‘Go into all the world and make millennials happy and draw them into a ‘church’ that serves them rather than a place where they can learn to be servants, and lo, I am with you always, or until you find something better to do, amen. Oh, and yes, there’s an app for that’…
This is my favorite Nigerian scam email EVER- received just today.
I greet you in the name of God I know this mail might come to you as a surprise but take and treat with love as Christ love the church.
I am prophet TB JOSHUA, am requesting for your assistance in an ongoing project in our church in Nigeria, we about to building an orphanage home for the less privileged in Africa which headquarters will be in Nigeria.
I want to raise fund from all pastors and clergy that God might instruct to help either in cash or in kind. I’m a prophet and servant of God but I cant do it all alone, because a tree cannot make a forest , and as the holy bible says in 1st Corinthians chapter 13:1-6 Though I speak with the tongues of man as of angels and have not the charity, I am became as sounding as brass or tinkling cymbals, verse-2 And though I have the gift of prophecy and understanding mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountain and have not charity, I’m nothing verse-3 And though I bestow all goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned and have not charity it profited me nothing. Verse-4 Charity sufferer long and kind, Charity voted not itself, is not puffed up.
God will bless you for any fund raised for this Godly project that will go a long way in helping us to grow orphans in the name and to the glory of God, your quick response to this mail will help us in Jesus name Amen.
God bless you,
prophet TB JOSHUA.
P.O. BOX 13563 …
I think Joel Watts should start calling himself ‘prophet’. It so beats Bishop or Archbishop or Pope.