If gay marriage gets legalized in Australia, I’m going to insist, since we are redefining stuff, that Big Macs be designated as a Falafel. That way, when my wife asks me what I had for lunch, I can honestly say, “A Falafel!” We will never have culinary equality in this country until Big Macs are given the same status and same name as Falafels. So get your religion out of my McDonalds store so I can enjoy a guilt free Big Mac with the same rights and privileges that vegetarians enjoy. There I said it! – Mike Bird
[That's funny stuff right there].
One of the most brilliant, cutting, humorously wicked plays ever written is ‘The Clouds’ by Aristophanes. It mocks false knowledge and pedantry in a way worthy of false knowledge and pedantry. Here are a couple of excerpts:
The characters in this excerpt:
Father Strepsiades, the bumpkin who wishes to escape his debts
Son Pheidippides, who is largely responsible for the debts
Disciple A student of Socrates at the Brain Factory
Socrates Presented as a teacher and investigator into arcane knowledge
Father: Go and be taught!
Son: Why, what will I learn?
Father: They say that in their school they have two Logics—the Right Logic, whichever that is, and the Wrong Logic. They say that one of these, the Wrong Logic, always wins, even though it speaks on the unjust side. So if you learn the Wrong Logic, I won’t have to pay a single cent of the debts I owe because of you.
Son: I can’t do it. I couldn’t look the knights in the face again if I lost my tan.
Disciple: Well, Chaerephon asked Socrates whether he thought gnats buzzed through their mouths or their backsides.
Father: And what did the Master say about the gnat?
Disciple: He said the intestine of the gnat is narrow, and the wind rushes violently through it straight to the tail end. Then the rump, which is hollow where it is next to the narrow part, whistles to the blast.
Father: So the gnat has a rump trumpet! Oh, thrice happy is he for his sharp-sightedness into gnats’ entrails! Surely a defendant could easily get acquitted who understands the intestine of the gnat.
Gnat guts. I know a lot of undergrads who think they know everything because they think they know one thing. In fact, I know a lot of Professors like that too.
Anyway, go read the play. You can find it easily. You’ll laugh out loud.
And I have your Queen’s permission to insist.
(Thanks to Martin Shields for the tip).