For the Mega Church That Has ‘Everything’ (But God, of Course)

via Loyd Legalist on the twitter

Meanwhile, Somewhere in Britain, I’m Not Sure Where…

Wallace Revels reports there’s been some sort of rally… to drive out the demons which torment and assail…

[If you're 'humorly challenged', please, just don't bother to remark].

Heretic and Scammer Rod Parsley’s Latest Publicity Stunt

Rod Parsley of World Harvest Church is raising some eyebrows by releasing this now-viral video of himself zip lining through the air over his cheering congregation, and landing onto his pulpit. His band is playing the “Mission Impossible” theme music to kick off its “Mission Possible” sermon series leading into Easter. If you send him your email, Parsley sends you a “voucher” for a free gift when you visit his church.

These heretics need to read the Bible.  They just need to.  If they did, they might discover that manipulative tricks and silly stunts have no place in the proclamation of the Gospel AND that the ends NEVER justify the means.  Ever.

Likewise, the ignorant masses who follow these heretics and who are so uninformed about the Bible that it never occurs to them that such things are anti-Gospel and anti-Christian need to read it too.

ἀλλὰ ἀπειπάμεθα τὰ κρυπτὰ τῆς αἰσχύνης, μὴ περιπατοῦντες ἐν πανουργίᾳ μηδὲ δολοῦντες τὸν λόγον τοῦ θεοῦ, ἀλλὰ τῇ φανερώσει τῆς ἀληθείας συνιστάντες ἑαυτοὺς πρὸς πᾶσαν συνείδησιν ἀνθρώπων ἐνώπιον τοῦ θεοῦ. (2Co 4:2)

Someone in the KJV Only Camp Has Gone Insane(er) : ‘PocketDoctrines’ Wins This Week’s Dilly the Dilettante Award

For, according to James McGrath, the ignoramuses at ‘PocketDoctrines’ are actually asserting that the KJV is better than the originals- for a list of reasons which demonstrate their inability to think clearly.

‘PocketDoctrines’ must be an assemblage of dilettantes who don’t know anything about how books (from scrolls) developed.  Nor do they know how to exegete Jeremiah 36, which says nothing about God destroying scrolls but a wicked king doing so.  Nor are they aware of the fact that some of us actually do read ancient languages and- believe it or not, the KJV is derived from those sources, they are not dependent on it.  Point 5 is utterly anglo-centric and ignores the truth that most of the world doesn’t read English.  And, further, what did the people who lived before 1611 read?  Are we to believe they had no bible just because they didn’t have the KJV?  Point 6 is just stupidity enfleshed.  And point 7 proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the KJV only crowd knows nothing about the history of the text.

In sum, the people who produced the rubbish at ‘PocketDoctrines’ are dilettantes of the most ignorant and uninformed sort.  So, here’s your Dilly, ‘PocketDoctrines’:

Rob Bell thinks Christians Who Oppose Gay Marriage Should Repent…

But he doesn’t think people need repent of their sins to participate in salvation.  And that, in a nutshell, shows how incompetent Bell is at theology.  After describing his lying in California the report informs us that …

Bell returned to Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan last week, the church that he founded over a decade ago, to speak and to introduce his new television broadcast The Rob Bell Show. He also conducted a signing for his new book, in which he asserts: “I believe God is for every single one of us, regardless of our beliefs or perspectives or failures or mistakes.”

God is indeed for us- on His terms, not ours.  Bloody heretic.  But why does it matter?  Because Bell is a liar and he’s deceiving people and he’s misleading people and he’s teaching people to admire themselves more than they obey God and that’s damnable and disgusting.

He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing ravaging the flock.

Oh Boy- More Nutbaggery From the Pseudo-’gospels’

Un nuovo testo copto scritto attorno al VII secolo dopo Cristo racconta una storia diversa della Passione di Gesù:

Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus’ crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus — because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text  — and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline.

Thank you, Antonio…  I agree…

Spettacolare.

For more…

Il testo è appena stato pubblicato da Brill. I dettagli qui.

Watch for a movie soon… doubtless from The History Channel.

Remember How Raphael Golb Assumed Different Identities to Troll Lawrence Schiffman and Robert Cargill?

Well he’s not alone in his willingness to assume multiple personalities on the web.  Little Honey Tee Tee does too.  Joel has the info.

Tee Tee has continuously attempted to comment here but as his offerings go straight to spam I don’t see them till I empty the trash.  They are never approved but that doesn’t keep the deranged deceiver from trying.  And that, dear friends, is the chief sign of a troll.

Raphael has a kindred spirit.  I await the day when they are cell mates because, soon and very soon, Tee Tee will cross the line into threatenings and then he will be finished.  Maybe they can be cellmates.

via Irene Hahn on fb

Non-Donimational Churches: An Observation

Non-Denominational churches (and those odd churches which are dropping the name of their denomination in favor of generic names like ‘Spirit Church’ or ‘The Bridge’ or ‘The Vine’ or ‘Saddleback’ and the like) remind me of wives who are ashamed of their husbands and who, accordingly, don’t mind flirting with or even committing adultery with heresy. Wanting to be ‘all things to all men’ (and not in Paul’s sense of the phrase at all, but instead so as to make everyone ‘happy’), such churches pander to the world rather than focus their attention on Christ.  They are anthropocentric, not Theocentric.

If you’re ashamed of being a Methodist, don’t be a Methodist. If you’re ashamed of being a Baptist, don’t be.  If you’re unhappy with being a Presbyterian, leave.   But don’t urge your church to change its name just because you want to flirt with heresy and dip your toe in the waters of damnation.

Bono the Heretic

Ship of Fools tweets

@shipoffoolscom: Theologian of the week: Bono calls himself an “insufferable, jumped-up Jesus” http://t.co/AgJIPcV1Td in a TED talk on poverty.

Evidently Bono is as miserable at theology (he isn’t Jesus in any form) as he is at music and the proper use of funds raised for charity.

Don’t worry though his Aussie sychophants will still serve him unquestioningly.

Oh Pentebabbleists…

It started as a standard church meeting, but a Sevierville man claims it left him broken and bruised.  Andrew Byrd of Sevierville has filed a lawsuit against the Family Chapel Church of God in Pigeon Forge, saying he was assaulted by church leaders on Feb. 21, 2012.  After nearly a year later, Byrd is taking action against the church.  In the lawsuit filed in Sevier County on Feb. 15, Byrd says he went to what he thought was just a regular meeting at the church.  He says just a few minutes after the meeting began, he was thrown to the ground, beaten and told that demons were being cast out of him.

Everyone knows you can’t beat the demons out.  Everyone knows that…  Well, almost everyone…  Everyone except the pentebabbleists who – like the ‘Enthusiasts’ of the 16th century- don’t need Scripture since they, they erroneously believe, have the Spirit.

Modern Montanism.  That’s what it is.  But this did make me smile… just a bit…

Byrd says Pastor Joel Arwood and his wife Theresa Arwood requested he attend the meeting there.  The suit claims that during the meeting, Theresa said he had a “demon or spirit that needed to be cast out.”  The suit alleges the pastor and his wife, along with a man named Charles Shields, all of Sevierville, pushed him to the ground and held him there while Pastor Arwood struck him and Theresa shouted instructions.  Byrd says he begged to be released, but they wouldn’t let him go.  The suit claims that afterward, Pastor Arwood told the congregation he had “punched the devil and knocked the devil’s tooth out.”

He. Knocked. The. Devil’s. Tooth. Out…..  HA!  That’s priceless.  You can’t make that stuff up.