Zwinglius Redivivus

The Most Ignorant Paper I’ve Ever Read

Posted in Dilettante, Dilly the Dilettante Award, pseudo-scholarship by Jim on July 26, 2014

Is this one, which I only made it 1/3 through before my head exploded from the blatant and unrepentant stupidity.


Are People Really Asking Such Silly Questions?

Posted in Dilettante, Dilly the Dilettante Award by Jim on June 23, 2014

Did Adam and Eve speak Dutch? A theory dating back to the Renaissance places the Garden of Eden in what is today the Netherlands and Belgium.


Israelis and Jews have it all wrong, apparently. The Promised Land is not where they think. It’s actually a few thousand kilometers to the northwest in the Netherlands and Belgium.

In fact, the Low Countries have the dual honor of being both paradise on Earth and the place where many of the Bible’s most prominent celebrities did their thing, at least according to Johannes Goropius Becanus (1519-1572).

This Renaissance polymath was not only a physician to the royals, he was also an amateur linguist. According to his bizarre theories, the Garden of Eden was actually located in Antwerp, and Adam and Eve spoke the Antwerp dialect of Dutch.

And therein lies the problem. Amateur linguists are just the worst of the Dilettante’s tribe.

His proof? The etymology of their names. According to Becanus, Adam apparently derived from the Dutch compound Haat-Dam (Dam-Against-Hate) and Eve is Eeuw-Vat (The-Eternal-Barrel). He similarly “discovered” origins for Cane, Abel, Noah and other biblical figures. Becanus believed that these etymologies were self-evident; after all, he was convinced that Dutch was the oldest language in the world (Duits, i.e. De Oudst, or The Oldest).

He also theorized that Antwerp was founded by the descendants of Noah, though how they located this low-lying town – only 7.5 meters above sea level – after the reported deluge is unclear.

Though he did have admirers, Becanus and his theories were ridiculed even during his lifetime. His contemporary, Dutch religious leader and historian Joseph Scaliger (1540-1609) scoffed: “I have never read such nonsense.” He derided Becanus as the man who “was not ashamed to criticize Moses for drawing etymologies from Hebrew rather than Dutch.”

Dilettantes always have some weird admirers. There are always people who revel in ignorance. Read the rest of the Ha’aretz essay, it’s quite fun.

An Entire Project That Deserves a Dilly

Posted in Dilettante, Dilly the Dilettante Award by Jim on May 1, 2014

Is this monstrosity, as described by Bryan Bibb (and just to be clear, Bryan isn’t the monstrosity).  So, to the Chronicle Project I say, here’s your Dilly!  Seldom is it more well deserved.


The Dilettante’s Motto

Posted in Dilettante, Dilly the Dilettante Award by Jim on April 29, 2014

The dilettante’s motto:  “But I read an article once in Time Magazine about that… so obviously I’m an expert.  At least I believe I am.”

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John Hagee: This Week’s Dilly Winner

The heavens are putting on a celestial show next week — and one Christian pastor is convinced it’s a sign from God.  Bestselling author and televangelist Pastor John Hagee claims the four blood moons that will soon appear in the skies over America are evidence of a future “world-shaking event.”  The blood moons are part of a tetrad, a set of complete and consecutive lunar eclipses that will begin on April 15 and continue in roughly six-month intervals until October 2015.

To normal people these celestial events are interesting, even pretty.  But to the Dilly winning Hagee they are grist for his insanity mill.  When nothing happens in the wake of these events, will Hagee be honest and subject himself to the punishment the Hebrew Bible reserves for false ‘prophets’?  No.  He will make excuses- just like Harold Camping did.  8 times.

Anyway, ‘Pastor’ Hagee-  here’s your Dilly (and you’re sharing it with each and every single person who believes what you say) -


Beth Moore: Winner of this Week’s Dilly Award

In a January 2014 blog post entitled, “A New Year, A New Time,” popular Southern Baptist Bible teacher Beth Moore shared the following alleged God-given revelation:

In mid-November of 2012, God dropped a word so convicting on my heart through another teacher’s lesson that my face instantly burned. . . . This was the word:

“Stop sowing over and over in the exact same field.”

I wasn’t looking for it. I didn’t ask for it. I was happy where I was. Like many of you, I like things to stay the same. I loved my circle of relationships and the familiar places I got to serve. I’ve never lost a passion for those places and have often wept with thanksgiving to God for the privilege of walking through some of the same doors again and again. I have a history of long relationships and staying put and that’s how I like things. But I knew God was talking to me. It burned like a branding iron.

Every single day for nearly 14 months, that same word has reverberated in my soul and troubled my feet. . . .

Fast forward 12 months exactly to the most recent November. A year after hearing from God so clearly about sowing further than the field that I’d loved and served in for so long, I had a very disturbing dream. I can count the significant dreams I’ve had through the decades on one hand so I’m not prone to look for messages in my sleep to keep from having to actually pray and read the Bible. That God can speak through dreams is clear in our own Bibles, of course, but for many of us it is unusual. I don’t feel the release right now to describe the dream though I may someday. What I do feel is a strong compelling to share with you what I knew beyond a doubt it meant. I believe that I can either be obedient to God in the faith walk He is setting before me or He will take my voice. I do not feel that it was a rebuke. I felt that it was a warning.

(Source, emphasis added)At the time, Do Not Be Surprised emphasized the danger of Moore’s claims to receiving direct, personal revelation from God. What was not emphasized at that time was the content of the revelation.


Beth, for the sin of presumption- and theological incompetence- here’s your more than well deserved Dilly-


Put the Bible down, walk away, and never presume to speak for God again.

Another Dilettante Politician Pretending to Be a Theologian: Suzanne Atanus

These people slay me.

Suzanne Atanus, Republican candidate for U.S. House of Representatives in Illinois, claims autism and dementia are God’s punishment for abortion and LGBT rights.  Atanus claims that God is “angry” with the United States and has sent scourges like autism and dementia to punish the American people, according to a report published Jan. 22 by the Chicago Daily Herald.  Atanus is seeking the Republican nomination for the 9th Congressional District in Illinois. Her opponent for theGOP nomination is David Earl Williams III, a first time candidate and U.S. Navy veteran, who says he voted for Barack Obama in 2008 but has since changed his political leanings.

If God is sending a scourge on our country I’d be more likely to see it in the scourge of our worthless politicians.  They are our true punishment.  Anyway, since At-anus isn’t a theologian, she’s hardly qualified to offer theological opinions.  Hence, Ms At-anus-  here’s your Dilly.  It’s well deserved.


Neil DeGrasse Tyson Needs to Stop Trying to be a Theologian

America’s favorite astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson sat down with PBS’ Bill Moyers Friday for an extended conversation about science, religion and the universe. Addressing science teachers who want to teach creationism in the classroom, Tyson said they can worship whatever God they want as long as they “keep it out” of the classroom.

Tyson said he does not believe that faith and reason are “reconcilable” so he refuses to give credit to those who are trying to do so. “The track record is so poor,” he said, “the going forward I have essentially zero confidence that there would be fruitful things to emerge from the effort to reconcile them.” He went on to explain that as more scientific discoveries are made, the more “figurative” religious texts like the Bible become.

Who cares what he believes about the intersection of science and faith.  He isn’t a theologian.  Maybe he should stop pretending that he is.  If he wants to pontificate about astrophysics, have at.  Who cares.  But he has as much right to opine about theology as any other dilettante, which is precisely what he is when he leaves his field and trespasses in one which he has no skill concerning.

What leads him to think he does have that right?  Hubris.  His worship of science leads him to believe that his worldview is the only worldview.  That doesn’t make him smart, it makes him silly.

One of the smartest men I have ever known- perhaps the smartest, Wentzel van Huyssteen, works on precisely the issue of science and theology.  I’d accept his view on his worst day before I’d give Tyson’s a wink or a nod on his very best day.

Anyway, in recognition of your accomplishment, Neil, here’s your award:


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Megyn Kelly: or, Why Celebs Should Never, EVER, Talk about Jesus

Posted in Dilettante, Dilly the Dilettante Award, Eisegete This!, media, mockery by Jim on December 12, 2013

Evidently, if news reports are to be believed, Megyn Kelly is yet another Hollywoodite (like Roma Downey and Mark Burnett and the rest) who splatter on about Jesus and the Bible vacant any actual knowledge of it.  Recently Kelly apparently described Jesus…

Jesus was closer in appearance to the reconstruction on the right than Kelly’s absurd Elfish nonsense. Consequently, Ms Kelly, here’s your Dilly. I know you Hollywood folks love awards. Treasure yours:


Oh, and Megyn…


This Week’s Dilly Recipient: J.M. Rood

For this:

The Ark of the Covenant is considered by many anthropologists to be the most important and perhaps the costliest man-made artifact in the history of the human race – and its whereabouts have remained a secret buried in time.  That is, until excavations on the Temple mount in Jerusalem uncovered the foundations of Solomon’s Temple.

And it gets much, much worse.  Appalling ignorance is at work here.  Or outright deception.

Here you go, Mr Rood- here’s your Dilly:


[HT Eric Cline]

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