Zwinglius Redivivus

οὐαὶ ὅταν καλῶς εἴπωσιν ὑμᾶς πάντες οἱ ἄνθρωποι· – Jesus

Why I Should Be The Coach Of the Tennessee Vols Basketball Team

I will coach the #vols. I’m already highly qualified.

1- I know what it’s like to be despised.
2- I know what it’s like to give direction and guidance and be utterly ignored thanks to inflated egos.
3- I can take heat. I’m pyrex.
4- The opinions of others about me don’t affect me. I’m just me no matter what they say, or think.
5- Have I mentioned that my dad’s cousin is Jerry West? No kidding.
6- I once played basketball. In one game. When I was 8.
and
7- I wouldn’t stay long. I’d get bored with it before the fans could build up murderous levels of rage (i.e., after I lost 3 games).

In sum, I would be the perfect coach for the Tennessee Vols. Pick me. Pick me…

Go Vols!

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Written by Jim

April 16, 2014 at 18:01

Posted in mockery

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