I’m very pleased to present a guest post by Charlotte Salafia, the spouse of Christian Salafia, the blogger behind Homebrewed Theology. Enjoy the provocative thoughts:
Why Church is messing up your kid.
I was chatting with a girlfriend yesterday about all this. Sherry and I both with to different small christian liberal arts college and grew up going to church. We both started out in our families taking our own kids to church.
Ya see… by my parents taking me to church, I believed that they believed everything that was taught at church. Turns out that it’s not the deal but as a kid I thought that. At my college I absorbed the mega conservative views like a sponge. Then.. when I got into my adult married life.. things fell apart. Some things that church taught just never added up yet I wasn’t allowed to question that. WHAT is that teaching MY kids?
I figured out, as did my friend Sherry, that I have to talk to my kids about all this stuff. It’s up to me to assist them in their biblical study because I have NO idea what their Sunday school teacher believes and would teach them or their youth leader or some other trusted adult.
A couple of years ago I was in a conversation with my sister in law about the scientific evidence of evolution and the Big Bang Theory. My middle child Hally piped up and said “I don’t believe in the Big Bang Theory.” (This from the daughter of a rocket scientist) and I asked her why she didn’t believe in it. Her reply… “Because I believe that God created the Earth.” SO.. THIS is what she’s learning at church.. and I responded back with “What if GOD created the Big Bang?”. At that point, my sister in law had a light bulb go off. Angie said “OH WOW, I NEVER thought of it that way!”
Why don’t we think of things that way? Because what church teaches our kids is that everything is black or white and that there are only ever 2 options and one is wrong.
I prefer to teach my kids that there are a lot of possibilities and that not everything is crystal clear. I integrate my own personal believes and un-teach them the things they have learned. I now let them know that it’s ONE school of thought. I share what Dad and I believe and then I let them know that there are several schools of thought on the matter, theologically.
You might think you know who is teaching your kids and what they are teaching. You might even think your kids will figure it out later but it’s really up to you as a parent to give them a good line of critical thinking and give them permission to ask those questions on the things that just don’t fit into some of the churches theories.
Charlotte Salafia
www.MomsWithAPassion.com
Thanks Charlotte!
I can tell ya this, having my son’s in my 40′s (40 and 46), was a good thing on one level, but raising a 14 year old at 61 (my wife is younger, but ill often), is quite an experience! At best I guess I have 20 years left (the down side of hav’in kids later), but children today have many more pressures than my time. One must be true to their convictions, and draw their lines! So far my/our son’s are level and straight. To God be the glory!
Good post! I particularly admire the way you responded to your daughter’s explanation of why she didn’t believe in the Big Bang. Rather than pit one authority against another (mother vs Sunday School teacher), you challenged her to think the issue through.
Well done!
–Ishmael