Calvin’s Opinion of Monarchs… And Prelates

Here you go-

The kings tcalvin2hemselves, and such as exercise authority in the world, desire to be in their filth, and are indifferent as to any kind of abomination; for they fear lest in case of any innovation the common people should take occasion to raise tumults. As they themselves wish to remain quiet, hence it is that they defend with a diabolical pertinacity those superstitions which are abundantly proved to be so. And the people themselves neither care for God nor for their own salvation. Hence then it is, that almost all, from the least to the greatest, regard these asses, who are called prelates, as the most ignorant, and yet they submit to their tyranny. *

Fun times John, fun times.  And you’re as right about politicians now as you were about monarchs then.

*Commentaries on the Twelve Minor Prophets (Vol. 5, pp. 386–387).

Categories: Calvin | Leave a comment

On Parenting: An Observation

If your children don’t hate you from time to time you have failed as a parent. And if they hate you all the time you have also failed as a parent.

Categories: Modern Culture | Leave a comment

The Death of Biblioblogdom

When biblical blogging began, it was a loose confederation of bloggers discussing the bible and related things.  And then it exploded, both numerically and in terms of interested bystanders.  As a consequence, a lot of people started to blog and even if they only did so rarely (or just once in some cases) they changed the landscape of biblioblogging irreversibly.

How?  By changing its character and nature.  What was once a focused discussion among colleagues became a diffuse collection of hangers-on who had no true life interest in the bible or in its promulgation among the public.  Instead, they saw blogging as a means to an end.  Whether that end were self promotion or publicity or whatever the consequences of this have resulted only in the fragmentation and dissolution of the community of bloggers.

The high water mark was achieved when blogging first had a session as a subset of the computer aided research section of the SBL which met in Philadelphia many years back.  Then, blogging sought, and achieved, its very own section.  But that same interest and activity was the death knell of the community.  It became so large as to fall over, Eli like, on its chair and broke its neck.

Today there are bibliobloggers by the hundreds.  And hundreds.  Very few widely known and even fewer substantive.  Which is fine, quite frankly.  People always have been and always should be free not only to blog (0r not) as they wish but to denominate themselves whatever sort of blogger they wish.  Or to avoid denominationalism altogether.  I have no quarrel with that or them.  And I have no regrets nor sorrows at the demise of what was once a close knit community of like-minded (if not always in agreement) proponents of biblical literacy for the wider public.  Everything dies.

Biblioblogdom is now different than it used to be.  Instead of a community it is now simply a label.  In many cases a self-applied one without either understanding of the original purposes and goals of the project or any interest in furthering those purposes.

Biblioblogdom is dead.  Long live biblioblogs.

Categories: biblioblogs | 2 Comments

As Suspected, Things At Sheffield Have Taken a Further Turn against Biblical Studies

Remember back when it was suggested that the new Biblical Studies Institute and its Director at the University of Sheffield was to be in direct lineage to the Biblical Studies Department?  And how some of us said ‘oh sure it will’.  It seems we were right.  The new job description for a lecturer in the Biblical Studies section is found online under the umbrella of the Department of Philosophy, and, as it turns out, the new academic biblical studies position is for a lecturer in … the Philosophy of Religion.  Where is the biblical studies in that, precisely?  Bit by bit the Bibs has been gutted and now all that remains is a Directorship of an Institute which has no members and biblical studies lecturers being shuffled off to philosophy.

Thus endeth the stellar epoch of the University of Sheffield Department of Biblical Studies.  It is no more.  And the Director of the so called Biblical Studies Institute is simply de facto a member of the department of philosophy- in spite of promises to the contrary and assertions that the Biblical Studies Department really mattered to the University and would be continued.

Shame on you, Sheffield.  Shame on you.  You have well and truly killed one of the great Departments in any University anywhere in the world.  Even though you swore you wouldn’t.

Shame on you and all who brought this to pass.  My heart is broken.

Categories: Biblical Studies Resources | Leave a comment

Martin, Truly, Sometimes I Just Want to Punch You in the Throat

“Tomorrow I have to lecture on the drunkenness of Noah, so I should drink enough this evening to be able to talk about that wickedness as one who knows by experience.”

Dr. Cordatus said, “By no means; you ought to do the opposite!”

To this Luther responded, “One must make the best of the vices that are peculiar to each land. The Bohemians gorge themselves, the Wends steal, the Germans swill without stopping. How would you outdo a German, dear Cordatus, except by making him drunk—especially a German who doesn’t love music and women?”*

Conrad always was more honorable than Martin.

*Table Talk, (Vol. 54, p. 207).

Categories: Luther | Leave a comment

If Mama June and Sugar Bear Can’t Make Shacking Up Work, Who Can????

I learned the other day the shockingly sad news that Honey-Boo-Boo’s mom and dad had called it quits.  Apparently Sugar Bear was cheating on June in a series of online dalliances (curiously, that’s how they met too….).  Now the couple have spoken, outlining their plans.

“Sugar Bear and I have decided to take some time apart to figure out some things in our relationship,” the pair said in a statement. “We are taking things day by day but regardless of what happens the girls will always be our #1 priority. We want to thank ya’ll for your support.”

The pair’s relationship has been chronicled on the popular reality show, which is filmed around their rural hometown of McIntyre, Ga. and features child beauty pageant star Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson as well as her three sisters: Lauryn “Pumpkin” Shannon, Jessica “Chubbs” Shannon, and Anna “Chickadee” Shannon.

I’m so sad.  If Mama June and Sugar Bear Can’t make shacking up work, who can?


Categories: sarcasm | Leave a comment

Quote of the Day

“I spent my whole life trying to put a battery in backwards before I finally realized that batteries don’t work.”  -Every Fundamentalist-Turned-Unbeliever testimonial ever (via Lutheran Satire)

Categories: War On Atheism | 2 Comments

So Far, the Response Has Been Very Gratifying

The proposals so far sent for consideration of inclusion in the History of Reception of the Bible series by Peter Lang Verlag have been stellar.  We are in the process now of evaluating them and making further inquiries and recommendations.

We’d love to have your work for consideration, so if you are doing something in the area of Reception History (and, really, who isn’t these days) or you have an idea, please do send it along.  The series, again, is intentionally quite broadly defined (given the fact that the ‘reception’ of the Bible is universal in art, architecture, literature, etc.)

Categories: Peter Lang Verlag, Reception History | Leave a comment

Aww, Nick Jonas Has Ditched His ‘Purity Ring’…

Jonas-300x300Because, in his words,

I’ve got my set of values, things that are important to me now at this point in my life, and that’s all that matters.

Yes, precious, all that matters is what you feel.  Stay strong, precious, and never let all that God and holiness and Christian doctrine stuff interfere with what you think is best…

[NB- Another 'Christian' young person who thinks he knows better than Christianity does and who has become a law unto himself, thereby abandoning faith and turning inward to find his own path of salvation - which in reality is a path to death.  Thank you, churches with your pizza party feel good non-doctrinal pseudo-theology, you've managed to lead another one down the broad path that leads to destruction].

Categories: Heresy and Heretics, misery, Modern Culture, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology | Leave a comment

The Genuinely Invincible Ignorance of Today’s Wikipedia Consulting Internet ‘Experts’

Give a person the internet and they will often take advantage of it to put on parade their invincible and unredeemable dilettantish ignorance.  For instance, A-J Levine, one of the finest scholars of the NT presently working wrote a piece for CNN the other day on the parables of Jesus.  Unsurprisingly, she got a good bit of push-back from the slathering unwashed ignorant mob.  Here are some of the comments offered by that lot:

On Sep 21, 2014, at 11:48 PM, wrote:

Must Look good on a resume! I read your article on The prodigal son. Your words made absolute no sence? Not only was it mind numbing, It cluded to no truth or conclusion. This was simply a parable. You tried to make it something silly. If you don’t believe in faith and or God that’s fine. Don’t write A stupid article that makes no sense!


Good heavens… a person without any skills in grammar at its most basic lecturing someone about an article? Here’s another-

You are burying yourself in a mountain of arrogance. Do you know what you sound like? “I care about this more than you do, and I know about this more than you do, and I see the details more than you do, and I am a university professor and you are not, you little peasant, and therefore I will not deign to talk to you because you are insignificant.”

That is what I hear from you. In fact, the first part is almost verbatim what you said. Ironically the truth is that I know more about all of these things than you do, and a sign of that is how wrong you were. My opinion is that you aren’t responding to my points because you know you are wrong, but you are too conceited to admit being wrong, and therefore don’t want to entertain and legitimize that idea by conversing with me.

As I said before, I was not trying to insult you. Because you are arrogant, you feel like my criticisms are insults, but really I’m just trying to help you by showing you how wrong you are so you can correct yourself and prevent displaying such foolishness in the future.

As for your comment about the purity rules, you even refuse to accept that you did not know the facts, which are plain for everyone to see. The Bible clearly states that the Levites are forbidden from touching dead bodies, but you did not know that and claimed otherwise. And when I correct you, you arrogantly claim that I am in the wrong.

Also, I never believed that purity rituals were involved in the parable. The parable itself never mentions purity, it simply mentions that the first two individuals passed by the traveler; it doesn’t mention their motives for not helping him (but we are led to assume it’s because they don’t care about him). Your assertion that the purity rituals are unimportant is not something anyone would have considered in the first place, and I certainly never took it that way or thought it was an issue. Why would I? Those verses never in any way imply that the priest and Levite passed for reasons involving the purity rules. The only reason I can think that you would bring them up at all is because you lack knowledge of those parables and thought that it was part of the parable. Those little details though… haha.

I’ve met a lot of people in academia like you. Nothing I can say will change your mind, you know you’re perfect and therefore anything anyone else says is meaningless because you already know everything. I understand, carry on then.


What a ghastly ignoramus! And one final example-

Hello Mrs. Levine,

I just finished reading your article on CNN about the four parables we all got wrong and I feel compelled to email you and comment on it. Now it may seem like I’m trying to offend you with what I write but what I’m really trying to do is help you. Because people like me, when we read the kind of stupidity that you displayed in your article, well let’s just say it doesn’t look good for you or the institution you represent.

Let’s just talk about the first parable you discussed in your article, the prodigal son. At the end of that section you concluded that the parable is literally about COUNTING!!!! At first I laughed and thought you were joking. I thought to myself there is no way an intelligent person can come away with that conclusion, so there must be more. But no, it seems from the article that you actually believe that the parable of the prodigal son is a lesson in elementary school level mathematics.

Let me ask you a question: Are you insane? Are you ABSOLUTELY BATS@#T INSANE? Or are you just extremely stupid and ignorant? Because those are really the only two options for someone who reads that parable and comes away thinking that Jesus is trying to teach people how to count, reducing him to nothing more than a glorified 1st grade math teacher.

Forget the other three parables you talked about, which you butchered equally bad, while inconspicuously (not really) throwing in some of your personal political beliefs about employment and such. It’s enough to read the first part of your article and realize how deluded you are.

How on earth did you become a university professor? Does their employment non-discrimination clause include a line for very, very dumb people? You are an embarrassment to academia and Vanderbilt. You probably think you are really smart, and you probably thought people would read your article and be impressed with your insight and sagacity, didn’t you? And what’s worse, you are actually supposed to be someone who studies this stuff and teaches about it to other people. You are an immense shame and I shudder to think that there are probably lots of foolish, ignorant people like you in our universities who can’t see their own lunacy because of how arrogant they are.

I laugh at your ignorance and idiocy. I truly laugh to think that you sit there believing you are smart, but at the same time display such overt foolishness and outright stupidity. Do yourself a favor, next time you write something that will be read by large numbers of people, make sure it actually makes sense and doesn’t expose your absolutely lack of anything resembling intelligence. That way you won’t shame yourself and your colleagues in the process.


Sigh… The internet is a great tool if you know how to use it. But it turns so many into tools that I sometimes think the bad outweighs the good. I do have to give A-J this, though- she is far more patient with such sots than I would be. My response would be far simpler- Here’s your dilly, now move along and get back to marrying your sister.


Categories: loathing, media, misery, Modern Culture | 5 Comments

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